Tuesday, April 29, 2014


"Stand By Your List Unremittingly"

 Establish your list of non-negotiables or ‘deal breaker’ list as they are now commonly referred to prior to entering into a relationship in order to avoid heartache and possibly years of regret. Having gone through two divorces, it took me almost fourteen (14) years after my last divorce to heal from these extremely devastating hurts.  Consequently, I was so afraid of making another poor decision in a mate and of being hurt again, I bowed out of the dating game altogether and focused instead on my family, my career, learning about and loving me, who I am, where I went wrong, and what I really need from a man.

All relationships have problems and challenges to overcome.  However, unmet requirements become deal breakers, and after carefully evaluating myself and both of my failed marriages, I definitely have mine and I will never tolerate these things ever again for any reason.  Nor do I expect for these things to be tolerated from me.   This is key, don’t require anything from a relationship that you can’t give in return.  Below is my list:   
  1.  I will not tolerate infidelity not even once.
  2. I will not tolerate physical, mental or emotional abuse. 
  3. I will not tolerate abuse or addictions to alcohol, drugs or gambling. 
  4. I will not tolerate a lack of honesty, integrity, high morals or values.
  5. I will not tolerate me or our life together not being top priority.
  6. I will not tolerate half-hearted efforts to sustain and nourish our relationship.
  7. I will not tolerate a man incapable or unwilling to assume his role as head of household.
  8. I will not tolerate a lack of loyalty, respect, or genuine affection.
  9. I will not tolerate financial immaturity, inadequacies and challenges. 
  10. I will not tolerate attempts to control my personal, political or religious beliefs.
Get in touch with your inner feelings and determine ten things that would absolutely drive you bananas and emotionally cripple you in a relationship. Write them down, this is your non-negotiable relationship deal breaker list.  Once you start dating find subtle ways to let it be known what you absolutely will not tolerate once you become involved in a serious relationship and/or marriage.

Again, don’t be a drill sergeant about it, as that tactic, understandably will scare almost any man away.  You'll want to clearly establish your relationship boundaries one by one in numerous casual conversations as you get to know one another on dates or via telephone.  

Ms. Edna gives sound dating advice to single women. Advice, if followed, guarantees your success in creating a loving relationship with a GOOD man that results in marriage. Log onto msedna.blogspot.com daily and learn how to love yourself all the way to the altar! THIS BLOG IS COPYRIGHTED - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © msedna.blogspot.com 2007-2014 Disclaimer: All images posted on this site are copyrighted by their respective owners. MsEdna.blogspot.com makes no claims of ownership or credit for these photos whatsoever unless duly noted.


Joy said...

Luv your list, it's similar to mine.

Anonymous said...

I never thought to do this type of list. Thanks

Marion L said...

How about a list of standards for oneself in a relationship in regards to treatment of the man. I've been happily married for 16 years with a man who is still excited about the idea of us growing old together. Everyday I ask myself what does he need and try my best to give it. In return he fulfills my needs. Its a true work of love ladies. Nowadays its just to easy to get focused on the "me".

Ms. Edna said...

@Marion L....I applaud you for looking out for and fulfilling the needs of your husband. The key word being "HUSBAND". Once a man makes you his wife, we should definitely give him this type of consideration - but not until then!