"Low Self-Esteem Is The Culprit"
That's right ladies, low self-esteem is the primary reason why we as women constantly make bad decisions that destroy our relationships and the quality of our lives. In relationships, we are so busy trying to please him and be everything he ever thought he wanted, while overlooking our own needs and what is best for us. When our self-esteem is in the toilet, their is nothing that we won't stoop too in order to avoid rejection or deemed a failure. Ironically, we usually wind up with both. Low self-esteem causes us to behave desperately. Too desperate to catch him and too desperate to keep him, which gives him the green light to disrespect and mistreat us.
Nearly always, bad decisions can be linked to low self-esteem, as the basis for bad decisions are linked to pleasing or impressing someone and not what is in our own best interest. Therefore, it is time to get rid of this debilitating problem and live a happy and prosperous life. Low self-esteem can be cured. Seek the assistance of a professional or with self-help literature. There is plenty of help out here. I have gotten in the habit of asking myself before deciding to do most anything anymore (as low self-esteem has been my constant companion for many years) am I doing this to please, impress, manipulate, do I really want this, or am I genuinely being nice. Did I buy those expensive shoes because I really wanted them and could afford them, or did I go in debt to buy them to impress?
The lack of high self-esteem has caused me to be manipulated, disrespected and abused by everyone in my life except men (including myself). I have, for the most part, always been very much aware that I had to be on guard when it came to men. However, not so much with other people in my life, and more importantly with myself. Each and everyday in my own personal healing process, I am becoming more and more aware that I must get out of my own way, and on the alert for the actions of people who are clearly looking out for No 1 and rightfully so (as I should be doing at all times).
Another tip for you that has also been extremely beneficial to me. Push negative thoughts out of your head and replace them with positive thoughts. When "The Lying Little Bastard", starts reminding me of every mistake I have ever made or anything else negative. I promptly tell that voice in my head, that it is a liar, my GOD has forgiven me and I in turn have forgiven myself. Then I promptly start to thank GOD for my blessings and all the blessings that lay ahead of me as a result of my new attitude, "loving me". Now that I am learning to really love me, as my GOD does, flaws and all, I want only the best for Ms. Edna and this is what I strive for on a daily basis. And, I do it for me - not too impress or please anyone other than GOD, ME, MYSELF AND I!!
Learning to love ourselves is a blissful journey and leads to a happy, fun filled, joyful, and normal life sprinkled with imperfections. Let yourself off the hook - no one and I mean absolutely no one is perfect! With this in mind, know that you will stumble and falter, but I never let that stop me from asking my GOD to help me do better next time. I dust myself off and keep striving to be the best me possible, and have the best life ever! I hope you ladies will join me in this wonderful journey of self-preservation, the first law of nature!!
Nearly always, bad decisions can be linked to low self-esteem, as the basis for bad decisions are linked to pleasing or impressing someone and not what is in our own best interest. Therefore, it is time to get rid of this debilitating problem and live a happy and prosperous life. Low self-esteem can be cured. Seek the assistance of a professional or with self-help literature. There is plenty of help out here. I have gotten in the habit of asking myself before deciding to do most anything anymore (as low self-esteem has been my constant companion for many years) am I doing this to please, impress, manipulate, do I really want this, or am I genuinely being nice. Did I buy those expensive shoes because I really wanted them and could afford them, or did I go in debt to buy them to impress?
The lack of high self-esteem has caused me to be manipulated, disrespected and abused by everyone in my life except men (including myself). I have, for the most part, always been very much aware that I had to be on guard when it came to men. However, not so much with other people in my life, and more importantly with myself. Each and everyday in my own personal healing process, I am becoming more and more aware that I must get out of my own way, and on the alert for the actions of people who are clearly looking out for No 1 and rightfully so (as I should be doing at all times).
Another tip for you that has also been extremely beneficial to me. Push negative thoughts out of your head and replace them with positive thoughts. When "The Lying Little Bastard", starts reminding me of every mistake I have ever made or anything else negative. I promptly tell that voice in my head, that it is a liar, my GOD has forgiven me and I in turn have forgiven myself. Then I promptly start to thank GOD for my blessings and all the blessings that lay ahead of me as a result of my new attitude, "loving me". Now that I am learning to really love me, as my GOD does, flaws and all, I want only the best for Ms. Edna and this is what I strive for on a daily basis. And, I do it for me - not too impress or please anyone other than GOD, ME, MYSELF AND I!!
Learning to love ourselves is a blissful journey and leads to a happy, fun filled, joyful, and normal life sprinkled with imperfections. Let yourself off the hook - no one and I mean absolutely no one is perfect! With this in mind, know that you will stumble and falter, but I never let that stop me from asking my GOD to help me do better next time. I dust myself off and keep striving to be the best me possible, and have the best life ever! I hope you ladies will join me in this wonderful journey of self-preservation, the first law of nature!!
9 comments:
I really appreciate the way you advise women through this site. It has helped me a lot.
This is a great article, I hope a lot of women will read it.
This is great advice!
I too am on this journey and have been for awhile. I started by taking back my right to have my own thoughts, feelings, opinions and life experience, and to express that for myself, as defined by me, if, or when I choose, and to whom I choose. This new attitude pissed off a lot of people who were used to telling me how to act, what to think and where. People who would not allow me to be me. I am so much happier now.
This is a great post! I am over $100,000 in credit card debt, that originated from my need to feel worthy and impress. Thanks to you Ms. Edna and your blog, I have been on a whole new path to being good to me in a whole new way. I deserve all of these luxury items that I have purchased, but I dont deserve the debt and subsequent bad credit rating. I do things a whole lot different now, and like the reader above I no longer let other people dictate who I am.
I have allowed family to put labels on me for years - no more. I have always known the person that I am, but was afraid to tell these morons.
I too am in credit card debt to the tune of $50 grand, thinking I was buying respect. People pleasing, seeking approval, and expressing worthiness were huge in my life. I no longer do things to please or impress. I only buy what I want if I can afford it and I recognize that things don't define MARGO, my characted does - and as you say "flaws & all". I love me and it shows nowadays.
Another huge problem with low-self esteem and the quest to get better is the fear of putting key people our of your life who put you down and disrespect you. This one was really difficult for me, as most of these people were people that I deeply loved - my husband and my children. But, I had to do it and all are welcome back if and when they can respect me as a human being much less their wife and mother!
This article is inspiring and like others that you post helps me a lot....
A dear friend of mine forwarded this to me.
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