Learn self-respecting ways of dating & mating that will get you the loving relationship that you desire with a real man that evolves into marriage. Plus, a whole new level of self-love and self-respect. We have all made stupid dating & mating mistakes. However, it's time to rise above them, cease being fools for love, and take our power back. All with dignity, pride and self respect. Msedna.com was noted as one of the Top 10 Best Dating Advice Blogs on-line in 2010.
Ladies, as some of you have already learned, being single is so much better than being with the wrong man.
I recently read a quote that really resonated with me, "Being single doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are strong enough to wait for what you deserve."
Know that your happiness comes from loving you and not from men. Yes, you want a man in your life, and there is not a thing wrong with that, but know that you have to fall madly in love with you first. Then and only then will you be successful in love with a good man.
It starts with learning to be happy while alone and waiting on love to find you. Therefore, stop sitting around with negative girlfriendswho are desperate for a man, complaining about their lack thereof. Get a life ladies, and enjoy it to the fullest.
While surfing the web on this subject, I ran across this dynamite website that should be very beneficial in helping you to get a life and enjoy being single while waiting on "Mr. Right" to find you, a philosophy I have been advocating for years! http://datingtips.match.com/happy-single-woman-13443485.html
I can't stress too much, how important it is to build a rich, full and engaging social and civic life for yourself as a single woman. Why? So you can take your focus off of finding love, and allow love to flow naturally into your life when the time is right.
Far too many single women sit around being miserable because they don't have a man and looking for love at every turn, instead of living in the now and enjoying life as it is in the moment. This attitude makes you desperate, and a prime candidate for being a "fool for love."
Being alone is not synonymous with being lonely. Being lonely is a choice that you make. You can be very happy alone and single, that is if you choose to be. How can you be lonely if you have friends, family and an active lifestyle to interact with? You can, but only if you don't actively engage yourself. Spend quality time with friends and family, enjoy hobbies, and fulfill your civic and charitable responsibilities.
Trust me, God will send true love into your life when the timing is right, without you going through a slew of 'Mr. Wrong's & Mr. Right Now's.'
easiest way to arouse a man’s interest in you is to engage him in many hours of
conversation - on the telephone and on dates.By engaging him in conversation (not Q&A sessions), you will begin
to find out things about him that no one else knows; his dreams, goals,
difficulties, favorite holidays, childhood memories, favorite food, favorite
drink and pet peeves, etc.He must also
know these things about you.
more of yourself that you share with him, the more of himself he will share
with you.That is, if he feels that he
can trust you.You gain his trust by not
criticizing or showing indifference to things that he tells you.You will never gain his full trust if you
discuss with him the personal business of friends and relatives.If you can’t be trusted with their secrets,
he knows for sure you can’t be trusted with his.
As time goes on, you will begin
to appreciate and understand each other in ways that others don’t.Once the two of you start to share secrets,
your relationship will intensify.What
you are doing here is creating intimacy and a special bond that is shared only
between the two of you. You will be creating a foundation on which to build love
for one another and the desire to be together long-term.As you can see falling in love is not about
game playing and strategies, it’s about opening up to each other by sharing and
caring; thereby creating intimacy as you allow each other to see who you really
Learn to really listen when
having conversations with everyone until it becomes a habit.All of us love having ones undivided
attention when we are sharing our life experiences, a man is no different.Learn to really listen to people and when
they expose a character trait or situation that you find admirable, never fail
to acknowledge it and express your admiration.None of us can ever receive too many strokes including men.
In order to build a good
relationship with a man or anyone else, learn to be yourself, love yourself as
is, and allow others to do and be the same.Don’t take anything for granted – be appreciative and verbally grateful
for every single gesture that people extend to you no matter how small or
trivial it maybe.Nothing makes a
person’s day more so than being verbally appreciated for the things they do for
you.It doesn’t matter whether you are
male, female or child.
dishing out compliments and thank you’s abundantly and stop assuming that men
can’t handle these things without becoming big headed, because they flourish
and revel in both.The only criteria is
to be sincere and genuine as you lavish men with compliments.
Confucius Says, "It is better to lose a lover than love a loser".
In selecting a possible mate, first ask yourself this very crucial question, "Would I want a son just like him?"If the answer is yes, that's a great start. If the answer is no, you would be wise to keep it moving.
Secondly, does he have integrity? By that I mean is he a man of his word, does he do what he says he will do? Is he honest? Can you trust him? Is he emotionally mature? What about his moral values, are they admirable? Does he stand up for his beliefs and high standards? Does he even have high standards? You can get the answers to all of these questions over time, and by observing how he lives his life.
Thirdly, is he the type of man that you admire, respect and look up to? If not, you most definitely must keep it moving, as you will never have a happy life with a man that you neither admire, respect or look up to.
The warning signs are always there ladies, but we choose to ignore them or believe we can change him. Let's not forget about gut feelings, as they never, ever fail us. If you feel that something about him is not quite right, don't ignore these feelings, keep it moving. Being single is not the kiss of death, but a miserable and unhappy marriage certainly is. Get a life and enjoy it to the fullest until the right man comes along. Whatever you do, don't settle, you will be sorry!
"High Quality People Set High Standards For Themselves, In Their Appearance, Mind, Body & Spirit"
High quality people set high standards for themselves and stand by them like a pit bull.They give alot and expect alot.
My goal is for all of you to be high quality women, so you can attract high quality men.This is why I preach taking care of yourself and striving to be an all around better person, prior to dating.
Ladies you must understand, and so do men, that whatever you want in a mate, you must be that type of person yourself. So many men want a high quality mate who is loyal and faithful, but they are unwilling to be the same to her (my two ex husbands). I was loyal and faithful to both of them, but they were not to me. My mistake was choosing men who didn't meet the same standards I set for myself, due to my low self-esteem and lack of self-love and self-worth. Do you see the importance of choosing a mate wisely?
Few good men do this, they know when they are a great catch, and they seek a great catch in return. This reminds me of a "blast from the past", Do Right Man, Do Right Woman by Aretha Franklin.
If you have done your prerequisite dating homework, i.e. self-development, self-esteem building, as well as self-love development, and getting all glammed up on a daily basic, the following first date etiquette will be a breeze for you.
1.Get all dolled up.Every date should be treated as a special occasion, the first date is no exception. Therefore, make sure your hair and nails are done, your makeup is on point, and you look drop dead gorgeous. This is not to impress him, but for you to feel confident, self-assured, good about yourself, and cool, calm and collected.
2. Be yourself. Don't try to impress, be impressed. Don't put on any airs, just be you. You love who you are, so why wouldn't he?
3. Give him your undivided attention. Turn your cell phone off, and listen attentively when he is conversing with you.
4. Don't over share. For your part, keep the conversation light, and your personal business to yourself.
5. Have fun. Make this your primary objective. Look for every opportunity to laugh and be jovial.
6. He's the man, allow him to be just that. Let him open doors for you, etc. Don't you dare reach for your purse when the check comes. If he is a real man, he expects to pay and enjoys doing so. Don't suggest a 2nd date, he's the man, let him lead and you follow. Thank him for a fun evening and leave it at that.
7. No sex or heavy duty petting. He is just a date, need I say more.
8. By all means don't drink too much. Again, need I say more.
"Then Why Are You Giving Your All In Serious Relationships?"
A man will marry you if it makes sense to him. If he is already receiving all of you, it won't make sense to him to marry you.
A man who truly loves you won't be put off by the standards you setup for yourself, nor will your standards run him off, as so many of you believe. A man who runs off didn't mean you any good in the first place, and most certainly isn't in love with you.
Therefore girlfriends, think twice before you start cooking, cleaning and running his errands, etc. More importantly, don't give him all of your time and sex on demand. All of these things are wifely duties, and you are not his wife. In most cases, you haven't even been offered the job.
Maintain a busy social and civic lifestyle and you won't fall prey to these situations. See him on the weekend, and make sure this time spent together is enjoyable and fun. Every now and then, you can see him one time during the week. However, don't make this a habit.
The more he falls in love with you, quite naturally the more time he will want to spend with you. But until he puts a ring on it, he can't, that is if you're smart. Trust me, he will put a ring on it when he can't see you as often as he would like. Again, marriage has to make sense to men, and it will make sense to him when all of his needs aren't being met.
This is how you get a ring on it ladies, by giving him less instead of more of you. Just remember to stay in your girlfriend lane, and keep in mind at all times that you are not his wife, and you don't owe him anything more than being a great girlfriend.
I have been told by countless men, including my son, when
the tab comes, their dates immediately reach for their purses, and they
promptly tell her, it’s on them. In my opinion, when women do this on dates, it
signifies that they are so grateful to have been asked out on a date, they feel
they must reward the man by picking up the tab. Or, they feel superior to their date, and wants him to know they can afford to pay.
Ladies, a real man
expects to pay and wants to pay on dates (look at the smile on that man's face as he takes the tab).
The only exception to a woman paying for a date, is when she asks a man out, or when in a serious monogamous relationship, and
she wants to treat her man on his birthday, his promotion, etc.
If a man is broke, then he ought to know that he's not qualified to date a top quality woman like you. In fact, in my opinion if a man is broke, he shouldn't be dating until his finances improve. Here again is another instance where a real man will put a ring on it, when it becomes financially taxing to foot the bill for all of your many outings, so he can get some relief.
I've read on line that men want women to split the tab on dates but are afraid to ask. I can't emphasize enough, a real man
expects to pay and wants to pay on dates. You do the math!!!
In your quest to love, honor and value yourselves, prior to seeking love. Keep in mind
that all of us are wounded souls trying to find our way in this world, and few
of us recognize that JESUS is the way,
and the only way.
None of us are exempt
from life’s misfortunes or challenges, no exceptions no matter who you are. Sadly, all of us have a
story to tell.Some of us cope with our
wounds better than others, and many don’t cope at all.However, the fact remains that all human beings are
wounded to various degrees.
While in this world, we must live our lives to the best of
our abilities, and strive to be the best person we can be with integrity, until
GOD brings us home.Therefore, stop putting your own bowl on the
floor, and falling prey to the ways of this ungodly world in an attempt to dull
the pain of things you’ve done, or things that have been done to you.We must love, honor, and value ourselves,
irrespective of those regrettable situations.
You must stop focusing on these negatives and focus only on
the positive aspects of your lives.You
are worthy of a good life and a good man, but you must believe it.Know like you know, like you know that you
deserve these things and that they are coming to you!
You must not
get so caught up in finding love and getting married, that you lose sight of
your common sense and allow your heart to be your guide. Until you fall madly in love with yourself,
and start living a happy-go-lucky, dignified, prideful and self-respecting
life, don’t even think about dating. These
tasks alone, will keep you protected from most all bad circumstances. Because when we love ourselves, we take every
precaution to protect ourselves from harm.
Secondly, only date men you are attracted to and who meet your criteria. Take the time to get to know dates via telephone, to determine whether
or not they meet your qualifications before you agree to an official first date,
no matter how long it takes. By the time
you agree to a first date, you should be at ease with each other as a result of
your many conversations, which will eliminate awkward first dates. And, he will know exactly what type of woman
he is dealing with, your standards, your values, and what he can and can’t
expect on a date with you, because you will have shared this information via
these great telephone conversations.
This knowledge will eliminate men who are not interested in establishing
a long-term relationship. Thus, you
first date and subsequent dates will only be about having fun together as dates
should be. So make dates interesting and
fun, which means saying goodbye to all of those boring dinner and drink dates.
Finally, remember that no matter how smitten you may become, your dates remains your friend until the one you want to be with, asks you to enter into an
exclusive and monogamous relationship. Self-respecting women, don’t have sex with their
friends. The bottom line, don’t even
think about having sex until the two of you have discussed entering into a
monogamous relationship and, you know by his actions that he had developed genuine
feelings and affection towards you, and you him.
Incidentally, make sure that all of the men you date are fully aware
that these are prerequisites for jumping your bones! Again, this eliminates those guys who are not interested
in establishing a long-term relationship, just sex.
However, you must be smart and learn to decipher between those smooth talking guys who
have learned to seduce women with words, it is his actions that you are looking
for and not half-hearted ones either.